Category Archives: 心情文章

A Mysterious World

When I was a little boy, about the kindergarten age, I found a world of my very own. At that time, I always liked to attach my head to a desk, and there would be some vague voice come from the inside of the desk. It sounds like remote radio signals, unclear, but definitely meaningful. I would enjoy the sound for quite a long time, to figure out what they were really talking about, or think about how to get to their world. It was quite fun for me, besides I kept this as a secret, such a huge discovery should not be shared. Yeah, at that age, what else can you expect a boy do?

When it comes the day that I suddenly realize this is not a mysterious world, it’s simply the real world with some altered sound. I was very disappointed, the feeling is like a long-known friend who stabbed your back without any warning. All the fantasies faded away.

I suppose those are the growing pains.

My Childhood Playground

No matter how many pictures you take, you can never find back your childhood. Your shadow lingered in that place, you can see it vaguely, but you cannot touch it in the least. These were my childhood playground, my imagined battle field. They are quite different now, along with my friends. Apparently my childhood was already dead, I am no longer and can never be the same. What also made me feel ironic is I spent no more than an hour for cycling to check through all these areas. When I was a little boy, I thought that’s my whole world.

Artificial Limbs Project

This weekend I attended the Artificial Limbs Project as a volunteer to help to hand out the limbs.

I met Gerie and his two lovely children, Benjamin and Fiana, at 22:45 in front of the South Square, Shanghai Railway Station. And then came Lyvia, Joel, Louis and Emily in sequence. Gerie gave me the ticket, and I found it was booked by my passport number, I once afraid that I couldn’t get into the station, since I only brought my ID card with me. Of course, the moments of panic turned out to be O.K. in the end.

I changed my ticket with Gerie for he wanted to accompany his two children. I was with Louis in the same room, then Emily came in to join our talk. Another person in our room is an international student, sophomore who just came back from Wollongong, Australia. He is majored in engineering and willing to talk with us. So a group of four people began the chat restlessly in the mid night. One of Emily’s friend happened to be come from Wollongong too, so she insisted to acquire the contact information of the boy. And she kept saying her friend is very charming and very interested in making friends with international students. To me, she’s quite like a match-maker, ^-^. One thing is particular interesting that the boy misunderstood the word “faith” to “face”. And he kept talking with the wrong topic and the other two audience didn’t spot it. As for me, I asked Emily about the relationship between Jesus and Santa which obviously appeared to be a good opening thread. The talk ended at maybe 1:30 am, but I couldn’t fall asleep easily because I find it was difficult to get used to the jolt as the train travels.

The next morning we arrived Suzhou, Anhui at about 07:00 am. A mini bus took us to the breakfast. The restaurant provides everything but coffee, which made our foreign friends groan. Fortunately, Louis took two pack of instant coffee with her, and she finally decided to share with us all, ^-^. Professor Joel, Mexican, tall and with a loud voice quickly took out some sugar and added to the coffee, and murmured “I’m sweet than that”. We all got puzzled why a man would bring sugar without coffee with himself, the professor then took another bottle of lemonade and explained he could never live without lemonade, but sometimes he need some help from the sugar.

After the breakfast, we went to our final destination. Unfortunately, I don’t where it is. When we arrived there, the artificial limbs were packed in three big boxes and just be there waiting for us. Not too many things for us to do, we carried the limbs to a room with the help of other people, sorted them out and get ready to distribute these limbs to their new owner. I had to admit that the process was not so exciting, it’s quite like a routine. You gave the limbs and they said thank you, then the next. But after that, I was with Louis to talk to some of these disabled. They shared their stories and I felt the smiles on their faces are genuine.

The local government treated us in the noon. Nothing special, except that Joel taught us the tricks of two magic played by poker, very impressive.

When the trip ended, all of us need to pay 100 rmb. Apparently that because the SCF has subsided the trip. I gave 200 in the end, of course it cannot cover the cost of the trip, even for myself. But I don’t know how much that others would give, so I have no intention to embarrass the rest. Anyway, I could donate proper amount of money to the church in the future.

The link below is all the photos I took, really not a big fan of photographing, I already tried my best.

p.s.: Little Fiana is so so so cute!

Cruel Nature

Just some rough ideas.

From the nature’s perspective, the mission of the creatures in this world is to spread genes. Whoever performs the task better, which means do the job faster and more efficient, will always gets the reward, SURVIVE. But I think the natural probably doesn’t care about the life quality of any simple individual.

For example, the men who live on earth now proves that their ancestors are more successful in spreading genes. They must had more sex partners and may possess the intuition to commit rape. It’s simply because doing so can increase the chance to have more offspring. But here comes the problem. If you get many sex partners, it’s very difficult to deal with the relationships. Hence you may live in a life full of quarrels, even fights, everyday. For most people, it’s like a torture both physically and mentally. And if you commit rape, it maybe good for your flesh and blood, since they get the chance to be born. But it’s definitely bad for you. I know there are so many rapes that have not been reported, still if you committed it, you are more likely to be pursued by the law and get punished, even death penalty can be applied depends on what period of history you lived. So why bother? I think the answer is we’re all slave of the nature and nature makes us the slave of our intuition. Whoever can be more adapted to the world, no matter what manner he takes. Whoever against this rule simply gets vanished from the earth. That’s the reality, such a cruel nature.

The Shanghai Zoo

After I come back from UK, I feel what’s a shame for not visiting the London zoo. So I took my son to the Shanghai zoo instead a few days before, partly because I want him to be interested in animals, but I couldn’t deny the main reason is I want to see them.

That was a long day, we got there at about 10:30 and got out at 16:00. The weather is lovely and my son took his bike as a company which made me quite relieved because I don’t have to worry about holding him all day long.

We saw some giant tortoises first, they were taking the sun bathe. It’s a good way to keep them healthy.

The next thing we saw were some gold fish. He didn’t trouble to spend one minute on it which exactly the same behavior I would take if I was at his age.

After that, we entered primates area, all kinds of monkeys. It’s a very inaccurate word, because they all get their unique categories. I can hardly tell all the differences among monkey, baboon, ape, macaque, chimpanzee, gorilla and gibbon which now I find it’s very interesting to figure it out. One more thing, they all look like human beings at some extends. If the evolution is true, which I couldn’t find any strong evidence to refute it, then the Bible gets some faults.

Then comes the elephants, I asked my son whether he knows the name of it, but I think he was too shy to speak it out. And anyone knows why Evernote chooses an elephant as its logo? Because of the old saying “An elephant never forgets”. And that’s very true, the leading character of a herd of elephants is always a female, and her memories usually services her very well. She can remember her members even after a few years separation. And a good memory will remind her avoiding those places where usually the drought pursues.

The followings were ox and deer, not so exciting, I saw reindeer in Cairngorm’s Reindeer center and some wild roe deer in the isle of sky.

And now it’s giraffe’s turn, we usually been taught they’re dumb, now we know it’s not correct. They are not dumb, but we are deaf, they use the sound wave to communicate which we cannot hear. How ironic it is!

We have also seen two fights. One was between two rhinoceros and the other involved two pandas. I don’t suppose those were common things happen everything day. We were luck.

That’s just the half way, but I’d like to stop my pen keyboard. God knows writing is so time consuming.

Those Who Cannot Remember the Past are Condemned to Repeat it.

I’m not particularly favor the date today, but if I don’t write something then it’s meaningless for me to buy a VPS overseas.

It’s the 25th anniversary for the Tiananmen Square protests.

I still believe if the government try to cover things up, there must be something wrong. But we Chinese people have been ruled by dictatorship for too long, I doubt whether there’s still hot blood in our body if our stomachs have been simply stuffed. Of course, I’m a coward, I always was. I dare not to doubt and questioning the government’s behavior, I afraid to express my thoughts in public, I hide my feeling toward the massacre of Tiananmen Square. The thing has passed 25 years, China has a dramatic economic bloom, but so what? A country without soul is not worth respect, no matter how great achievement it had done, even I am a member of it.

I’m quite pessimistic about the view of government toward this incident, I can see no change. And every time I’ve seen this country change on this issue, it’s always been for the worse.

I hope those people who died for their dreams would rest in peace, for if heaven really exists, the God will make them justified.

Personal Experience of Cycling

Today I cycled 168km for over 12 hours, thing longest distance and time for cycling in my life. That was really not easy for me, I’m dying on the half way. But I learnt a lot this time.

First thing first, get yourself a hamlet and pair of rear and front light. Safety shall never be ignored!

  1. If you plan a long run (>100km), make sure you eat enough and regular. I kept cycling for about 4 hours at first, I didn’t eat much this morning, and I was starving. I mean it, my whole body was shivering at that time. It’s nothing about a strong will, if you don’t eat enough, you definitely couldn’t go on. And when it comes to the time for lunch or dinner, follow your instinct, if you ignore the signal, there will be consequence.
  2. Have a Plan B, a well planned Plan B. I got a Plan B, I told myself, if I feel exhausted, I could go back by a train. The thing is I didn’t check the time table. So when I felt no strength left in me, there was only a train which I had no way to catch it in time.
  3. Go to bathroom before you set out. No one likes to search a loo halfway in your journey. But if you really need it, just go to any restaurant and ask. Don’t be shy, it will be far worse if you keep cycling.
  4. Change gears. No matter you believe or not, technically this method saved my skin today. My usual gear set tend to hard to push, but go very fast. Yet my limited energy doesn’t allow that to sustain for long. I happened to change the gear to the set when I climb some slopes. It’s much easier to pedal, though the bicycle won’t go as fast as the former set. For a long run, it suits me perfectly well.

Today’s cycling is a test to see whether I could cycle to Hangzhou (200km+), I won’t deny I’m a bit disappointed to find I’m not fully qualified yet. But still, it’s a very interesting and impressed experience.


Falling Slowly

Whenever I heard this song, it reminds me the time in UK with my dear darling. It’s an opening song for a drama named “Once”, simple stories about love affairs. But it’s the first time for me to see a totally authentic drama, the atmosphere of the theater (the name of which is Phoenix), the beautiful rhythm of the guitar, the humor of the play (which I can understand maybe just part of it), all made me amazed. And what’s more important is that I share those invaluable time and wonderful experience with someone who I quite believe will accompany me through this life.

And after hearing this song, I desperately want to learn playing guitar.